


Anything is possible over an eternity

by Verdic



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: DNDcember
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-10 13:48:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12913200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Verdic/pseuds/Verdic
Summary: Acererak comes across two things he would never see as an adventuring party delves into the depths of the Tomb of Horrors.





	Anything is possible over an eternity

**Author's Note:**

> All of this actually happened in one of my parties that went through the Tomb of Horrors. The Swedish Chef was summoned and promptly killed him. Then the elf (my character) convinced someone to summon Heimdall, was the only one to pass their wisdom save to not grovel before Odin, and proceeded to sass him and got away with all of it.

Eternity. Time, the eternal enemy wa defeated. Acererak had transcended mortality and was an undying Lich. His tombs attracted souls by the score, so he could never truly diminish. He was free to explore the multiverse and learn every secret it stored. He was by no means just any traveller. He was death incarnate, slaughtering species on a whim to test his newest spell or theory. 

In his long existence, there were only two times he had returned his consciousness to what remained of his body to kill the intruders. Each was a large adventuring party, whittled down to only its few remaining members. He had long since lost any enjoyment at dispatching the pure and righteous from the world. Emotions such as that had sloughed away along with his skin when he finally became a lich. They were so insignificant to him that he was annoyed they had distracted him.

It had been an exciting adventure for him, feeling emotions after so many ages of nothingness. He relished the taste of those emotions and kept them with him to sate his hunger. He knew that too much of these emotions would weaken him. But having felt these emotions, to try and cut himself off would lead to a time where he failed to resist and over indulge. Unlike most of those who sought Lichdom, Acererak knew he was not infallible. 

It had been only a millennium since the last party had disturbed his plumbing of the multiverse’s secrets. However, he was feeling the pull to his remains as another group disturbed his sanctum. They had already passed all of his traps and were gathered around his skull. WIth a slightests of sighs, he returned to his body. 

For the first time in eternity, Acererak paused in what he was doing, unable to comprehend the sight in front of him. A short figure was wailing on his skull. In one oversized hand was a kitchen cleaver and the other held a rolling pin. On its head was a chefs hat pulled down over its eyes and a great bushy mustache. 

“Weem gert ta ‘it un spit de skool.” The figure said. Nothing happened as the figure smacked the skull and Acererak wanted to just leave the figure alone, as it could not hurt him. As he tried to leave, he felt himself dragged back by the spell he had cast so long ago. Heaving another sigh, he went back and drained the soul from the figure. 

As he started to leave, He felt another figure mess with his skull. Rolling eyes that no longer existed, Acererak returned to find that one of the gems was broken. Looking out at the figure holding the skull, it was the great god Odin. Shoulders slumping and muttering under a breat he no longer had, Acererak’s spirit wandered into the Tomb of Horror and picked up the Phylactery they had yet to destroy. Shaking his head, he dispelled his return spell and walked off into another dimension as he heard one of the people start sassing Odin. Acererak stopped, always knowing that gods are very touchy and their wrath was legendary. Perhaps this will be another nugget of humor for him. 

Acererak was stunned for the second time in eternity.

The elf wizard was sassing Odin while the rest of the party cowered on bent knee. Odin, for his art, did not understand the sass and was taking the conversation at face value. From what Acererak could tell, the elf had convinced someone to try to summon Heimdall himself from the Bifrost with a staff. When Odin intervened, the elf convinced the god that someone must have posed as Heimdall and gave them the staff. Odin took the staff and destroyed it. The elf then convinced the god that they needed recompense and Odin gave them a magical horn of Valkyrie calling. Acererak was shocked that the elf had tried to start Ragnarok, avoided any penalty, and got rewarded. 

He shook his head and walked through the planar portal. He figured that given the randomness of the multiverse, and given all eternity, anything was possible.


End file.
